Posts Tagged ‘thank you’


So KDP went ahead and decided to change their whole payin’ the authors thing last month. On the plus side, it gives verbose writers (like me) a chance to get paid per page . On the other plus side, it makes the pizza delivery driver happy to see my address on his delivery app. Explanations follow.

I don’t ordinarily get this deep into the weeds, but what with the changes and whatnot, here are the hard numbers regarding last month’s attempts at selling my fiction of questionable merit:

A World Gone Gray: 2 sold, 4 borrowed via KOLL, 1765 pages read

The Transience of Youth: 74 free downloads

Unfortunately, Amazon doesn’t record the actual KOLL borrow numbers per unit anymore, so I had to stalk my Reports and Bookshelf pages all month and assume a borrow occurred when AWGG (my best- [or, more accurately] only-) seller got a modest bump in the rankings. Last month’s Transience giveaway may or may not have affected AWGG‘s performance; one sale and two borrows took place during the three-day freebie thing. So the jury’s still out.

Bottom line, Broome. How much did you rake in last month?

Enough to order a one-topping pizza and give a struggling kid a decent tip. On a side note, that’s my best month money-wise in about a year and a half.

Pfft, you may say. And I tend to agree with you. However, I made inroads in countries I have a lingering fondness for. So there’s that. Four downloads in Germany and one in Italy. Dankes and ciaos (owing to my limited Italian skills) are in order. So thank you, mystery downloaders.

I’m sure you’re wondering most of all about that pizza delivery dude. Rest assured, he was tipped. Well. I may live in squalor, but I like to pay it forward when I can. Not the squalor, the positive stuff.



Congratulations, Great Britain, Ireland, Wales, and Scotland! It’s been 239 years since you cut the Colonies’ cord and sent them floating off into the ether of their own destiny! Well done!

What better way to celebrate this momentous occasion than by settling in for over 112,000 words’ worth of fiction which gleefully chronicles the demise of (most of) those upstart Yanks?

Presented for your perusal is A World Gone Gray, an epic post-apocalyptic novel soon to be offered at a discounted rate. You’ll likely be pleased to know that the original Colonies fare…not so well. The Louisiana Purchase? Let’s just say (and many American homeowners can relate to this), it’s about half under water. So France may like to take a gander, too.

As a red-blooded, credit card debt-carrying, apple pie-lovin’ American, however, I can’t in good conscience offer such a hefty discount on a story depicting the down-sizing of the country I dearly love on July 4th. Seems like some sort of sacrilege. So here’s the deal, UK. You have to wait until July 5th.


From July 5, 8am GMT until July 5, 8pm GMT, A World Gone Gray is £0.99.

From July 5, 8pm GMT until July 6, 8am GMT, A World Gone Gray is £1.99.

From July 6, 8am GMT until the foreseeable future, A World Gone Gray is prohibitively expensive.

So go forth and save, former overlords! In the meantime, I’ll be on this side of the pond vomiting domestic beer over the side of my party boat on Lake Mead while doing donuts on a quad and shooting Chinese-made bottle rockets at endangered eagles.

*— Please note, handful of readers who read this, the current promotion is only available via the UK incarnation of Amazon. Please feel free to check in every once in a while for promos in other markets.



June is a difficult month for punning. I’m sure there’s a clever June Cleaver or Benny & Joon reference I could drop that would perfectly sum up last month’s goings-ons, but frankly I’m too lazy to Google it. So here, in all its SEO-friendly glory, is some writin’ stuff.

As my mother and three other people may recall, I did the Kindle Countdown thing with A World Gone Gray last month. In my heart of arrhythmically-lub-dubbing hearts, I was hoping to hit double figures in sales\borrows for June, based almost exclusively on the aforementioned promotion.

Oh, so close.

All in all, though, I was pleased with the Countdown promo. There was a noticeable spike in interest in AWGG, and, for some strange reason (perhaps my terminal case of dorkiness), I found it just plain fun. Something different. However, my half-baked master plan of flooding Amazon with elaborate, multi-pronged assaults on potential readers by offering all of my wares at discounted prices next to an honest-to-goodness down-counting clock went a bit awry when I took a look at the fine print. It seems the good folks at Amazon aren’t too keen on you abusing their promotional tools.


So, allow me to introduce you to Plan B. No, not that Plan B. This one…



Perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, “Hey, Self. I find you strangely attracted to A World Gone Gray’s lovely cover, engaging characters, and thought-provoking premise. But we aren’t enrolled in Kindle Unlimited, and I don’t think we can spare $3.99 on 112,000 words of post-apocalyptic fiction this month, what with the kids’ diapers and the faulty transmission on the Mazda and such.”

Yeah. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Well, I’m here to cure all that ails you. Okay, that’s a bit hyperbolastic, but isn’t everything? Sales pitch forthwith:

Coming this Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday! A beast not seen in over eighteen months! A gargantuan collection of characters, words, paragraphs, and chapters! All for the practically undetectable sum of 99¢!

But there’s a catch, as is often the case.

A World Gone Gray is only (only) 99¢ for 24 hours. Sad but true. However, all is not lost; it’s $1.99 on Wednesday and $2.99 on Thursday. On Friday, though, it reverts to its heinous, unthinkable, outright ungodly everyday price of $3.99. The horror…

The sale begins at the completely arbitrary time of 8AM PST on Tuesday, June 16th and ends at the equally arbitrary time of 8AM PST on Friday, June 19th. Here’s the breakdown of events:

8AM PST Tuesday, June 16th-8AM PST Wednesday, June 17th: A World Gone Gray is 99¢

8AM PST Wednesday, June 17th-8AM PST Thursday, June 18th: A World Gone Gray is $1.99.

8AM PST Thursday, June 18th-8AM PST Friday, June 19th: A World Gone Gray is $2.99.

8:01AM PST Friday, June 19th: A World Gone Gray turns back into a pumpkin.

Still, that’s a full 72 hours of savings!

Go forth and save!


Here we are again, mid-month. That can mean only one thing — it’s time for another installment of What Happened Last Month in the Writerly Life of Self-Published Author #894752487652378465? Fear not, as there are answers anon. And below. Observe:

Not much.

Okay, that’s probably a little succinct. But things have been remarkably steady since I enrolled my humble scribblin’s in KDP Select a few months back. I’m not burning up the bestseller charts by any means, but a fair (to me, anyway) number of readers are taking a chance on my stuff via the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library and parking my fiction of questionable merit in line behind the digital works of writers exponentially more talented than I. And for that, I bid them thanks. And a high-five. Couldn’t resist it.

The Age of the Crooked Number continued into May, and I may have found a way to continue it into June (he said foreshadowingly). A World Gone Gray, much to its cousins’ dismay, is still lording over them in the sales\borrow department, and seems to have firmly established itself as the alpha ebook of the pack. No news there.

On the social media front, I’m still social media-ing. Which in my case means Twitter. I’m up around 3,500 followers, which may or may not mean something. It only took me a year and a half to come up with the novel concept of adding a cover image to my tweets, and that seems to have increased the number of engagements I’m getting per tweet. Before you lapse completely into a coma, I’ll get to the point: there is none. I haven’t noticed any corresponding increase in actual sales and\or borrows. Sorry.

Remember that gun on the mantle way back in paragraph four? Well, it’s about to go off. But in a good and nonviolent kinda way. In fact, it could save you 25%, 50%, even 75% on A World Gone Gray. If you play your cards right…


Bear with me for a moment while I attempt to come up with a colorful springtime pun to open this post. I hear I’m pretty litigious, and I’m trying to avoid plagiarizing myself. Let’s see. “April is the cruelest…” Done it. Something to do with baseball and rebirth? Done to death. Ah, here we go…

If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? The obvious answer (according to the International Alliance of Archaic Jokes [IAAJ] ), is pilgrims. And in a roundabout kind of way, pilgrims had a lot to do with defining my April, writer-wise. I’m using the word pilgrim a bit loosely here. To me, a pilgrim is a risk-taker, someone willing to make sacrifices in exchange for a roughly fifty-fifty chance of achieving some great reward in the end.

I managed to extend my Cal Ripken-like streak of crooked-number sales/borrows into Month the Sixth. Three intrepid sci-fi aficionados borrowed AWGG using Amazon’s Kindle Owners’ Lending Library, and one independently-wealthy soul slid nearly four dollars to the center of the table, betting heavily on the aforementioned tome. My sincere thanks go out to everyone who took a look at my fiction of questionable merit, and a special hollow in my heart (at no small cost to myself) has been surgically dug-out to house the Fabulous Four who joined me in this April pilgrimage.

I broke another streak of sorts last month. I hadn’t received a review of any of my books in close to half a year, but I noticed a review (Number the Second!) of AWGG on Amazon’s US site circa mid-month. Before my fellow stat-freaks freak out, I’ll let the cat out of the bag to feast upon the spilled beans: Three stars. Although in fairness (to myself), I must add that the reviewer gave me 3.5 in his/her title to the review. One-star, five-star, I don’t care. Anyone who takes the time to discover, buy/borrow, read, and review my humble scribblin’s gets a palm-reddening high-five in my book.

I’m pleased with Kindle Unlimited thus far. Sometime this month (May, for those as forgetful as I), I’m going to test-drive their Countdown and/or free giveaway promotion(s). The caveat continues; I’m new to this. I still don’t quite know what I’m doing, so nothing I type should be taken as gospel.

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you.


You know you’ve been neglecting your blog when you have to sift through piles of handwritten notes just to find your password. In an attempt to make amends, I’d like to take a moment and issue a formal apology to Writes and Submission: Sorry, Writes and Submission. I promise to give you the attention you so rightly deserve in the coming months. And to my legions of readers (also known as Mom), thanks for hanging in there.

Last month I waved goodbye to Smashwords and their affiliates and decided to go it alone with a humble international multi-billion-dollar conglomerate called Amazon. You may have heard of them. The move made sense at the time. Over 90% of my previous year-plus of sales had come via Mr. Bezos’s brainchild. Still, I was dipping my toe into uncharted waters and didn’t have a clue as to what to expect.

Thankfully, my streak of crooked numbers carried over into March, even though I failed to sell a single copy of any of my ebooks. Before I’m indicted on murder charges for blowing all of your minds, please allow me to explain. Although I didn’t sell any books, I did manage to coax a few adventurous readers into “checking out” my stuff from the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library. Even better, awesome readers from three different countries took a chance on two of my offerings of questionable merit. A World Gone Gray at AmazonUS had been bogarting things for awhile, so it came as a pleasant surprise to see other works and marketplaces working their ways into the mix.

I’m still doing the Twitter thing. I still have no idea how it’s impacting sales and/or borrows, but I figure it can’t hurt. As always, discovering other writers, artists, musicians, comedians, filmmakers, and others of similar ilk is great. I also have this new icon thingy that allows me to see how many people have “interacted” with my tweets. It magically appeared right around the time I sent tweet #5,000. I’m not sure if that’s just a coincidence or if it’s a “welcome to the club” benefit of persistently using their product. In any event, it seems pretty useful.

Again, and I can’t stress this enough, thank you so much for giving my work a look. And an extra-exuberant high-five to the intrepid souls who invested in my scribblin’s in March.


In between bouts of shoveling unseasonably-heavy amounts of snow and resisting the urge to punch the face of Winter Itself, I managed to do some self-published-writer-ish things last month. Here are the chilling details…

Actually, I can’t complain. I put another crooked number in the sales column, which is always a pleasant surprise. Appropriately enough, golfers in climes more temperate than mine would refer to said number as a snowman. Just like last month, all sales were of A World Gone Gray and came courtesy of the fine folks at Amazon (US incarnation). I’m sensing a theme here…

Speaking of the aforementioned theme, I deleted my books from Smashwords and their affiliates a couple of weeks ago, waited a while for the deletions to trickle their way down the affiliate stream, then enrolled all of my books in KDP Select. Again, nothing against Smashwords. I actually like them and their services quite a bit. I just wasn’t making any sales there, so the logical thing to do (after more than a year of crunching the numbers) was to go exclusively with Amazon. Needless to say (or type, in this case), I’m looking forward to seeing how the whole Select thing will affect sales, exposure, etc.

Again, I failed egregiously at keeping up with this here Web log last month. I’ve still been plugging away at Twitter, though. Again, I couldn’t tell you if 24/7 Twitter equates to more ebook sales or more pissed-off unfollowers. Who knows? As always though, it’s nice to discover other writers and artists (I can’t bring myself to include myself in that category — so alien) there. I mentioned in passing in last month’s AAR that I’m seriously considering publishing AWGG in paperback form via Createspace. I still may or may not do that. So there’s your update. Right there.

In all seriousness, I’d like to extend a cyber-handshake to any and all who perused my fiction of questionable merit in February. To those who spent their hard-earned cash on my words, you get either a cyber-fist-bump or a cyber-bro-hug. Completely dependent upon your level of comfort regarding personal space. Reader’s choice.


It’s hard to believe I’ve been grinding away at this blog long enough to have to include years with my AARs for clarification’s sake. But there’s the proof, right there in the title. Here’s what happened last month…

On the bright side, I sold more books in January than in the previous four months combined. Unless you suffer (or benefit; who am I to judge?) from polydactyly, you’d be hard-pressed to count my sales of A World Gone Gray at AmazonUS on one hand. I’m sure lowering the price to 99¢ had a lot to do with the boost in sales. Although I didn’t quite crack the NYT bestseller list, it felt good to put a crooked number on the board. As always, thanks to all who took a look at my books. And extra-credit to those intrepid souls who wagered a bit of their hard-earned cash on my fiction of questionable merit.

On the social media front, I’m still lagging (obviously) when it comes to this here blog. I’ve been more consistent on Twitter, where I toss my humble wares into the digital void six or seven days a week. I haven’t discovered a correlation between Twitter activity and ebook sales yet, but I have discovered a lot of talented writers and artists and musicians and actors and comedians and directors…

So what’s your deal, Broome? Are you going to just keep on keeping on, or are you going to make some changes in regards to your writerly endeavors?

Glad you asked, though I kinda wish you’d’ve done it in a less awkward way. But yes. Yes I am. Regarding the changes thing.

Change the First: I’m done with Smashwords. I don’t have a problem with them; I’m just not selling anything there or at their affiliates. Well over 90% of my sales have come via Amazon, so it makes sense (to me, anyway) to put all my ebooks in one basket and take advantage of Amazon’s promotional tools. If exclusivity is the price I have to pay, I’m cool with it at this point.

Change the Second: I’m seriously considering releasing A World Gone Gray in paperback form. It’s by far my best seller (which ain’t sayin’ much), and I’m interested in seeing how it fares in physical form (#AlliterationNation). On top of that, I’m seriously considering releasing I Like Mike in ebook form. It’s a RomCom/political satire type thing that’s awaiting a final round of polishing and a cheap cover. I hope to have both secured by Spring. We’ll see…

Change the Third: I’ve finally started doing that thing where you type words and make a story and stuff. I think it’s called “writing,” but it’s been so long since I’ve done it I couldn’t tell you for sure. Anyhoo, I’ve been doing it consistently for a couple of weeks now. I’m hoping that means this hellacious case of writer’s block is unblocked. Only time will tell (he typed ominously…)…

Once again, many, many thanks to anyone who dared to read the stuff I wrote.





December 2014 provided me with my first full-month year-over-year sales statistics. It also provided me with many reasons to curse the literary Gods, hurl my copy of The Elements of Style to the ground in a huff, and vow never again to grace the InterWebs with my self-published genius. Then I took a deep breath, relaxed, and began the second paragraph of this blog post.

First, the gory year-over-year details:

December 2013 — A World Gone Gray: 18

December 2014 — A World Gone Gray: 1

For the math-challenged (myself included) that comes out to an 18:1 ratio. In the negative. Generally, one hopes to see improvement over time as far as sales of ebooks is concerned. Clearly, in this case, no. The possible reasons for this drop-off in sales are myriad. Maybe it was the favorable conditions provided by Amazon at the time of my first book launch becoming less-than-favorable over time. Exposure seemed to be at an apex when I released AWGG (Thanksgiving-ish, 2013), and I managed double-figures in monthly sales through March. Sales gradually dropped off after that, month-over-month, due in some part, I imagine, to the advent of Kindle Unlimited. Frankly, I have no idea what’s driving indie ebook sales at Amazon these days. All I can confirm is that the overall sales for AWGG over the 13.3 months of its existence resemble the right side of a bell curve.

Clearly, changes need to be made. The slipshod gameplan I had in place prior to my foray into this self-publishing thing has proved less-than-successful. In lieu of firing my offensive coordinator, head coach, and general manager, I’ve decided to…