Posts Tagged ‘Canada’

A WORLD GONE GRAY COMPLETED DESIGN200x300pxSIGNAL FIRE COMPLETED DESIGN_thumbnailLIKE LIFE ITSELF COMPLETED DESIGN200x300pxTransienceOriginal

Much like last October, this October turned out to be less-than-impressive on the everything front. Were it not for the wonderful nation of Canada, I’d be seriously considering another line of way to waste two-to-five hours per day. Here are the pallid-hand-thrusting-unexpectedly-out-of-the-newly-covered-gravesite details:

October pretty much sucked, frankly. August and September (2015) ranked among my best months ever, revenue-wise, and I’d been hoping to carry my newfound respectability into America’s most recent fiscal year. Sadly, our seasonally-adjusted economic numbers sucked egregiously. In unison. Sorry, America (and me).

Thankfully, one of my neighbors to the north bailed me out, averting an economic catastrophe of epic proportions, one which could’ve potentially changed the face of North America forever…

Okay, maybe not so dramatic. But an intrepid reader in Canada (near the end of the month) sampledĀ A World Gone Gray, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I hope he or she is currently enjoying it. I managed a sale of the aforementioned tome in America early last month, too, but it’s always nice to see my friends outside this particular patch of land (potentially) enjoying my stuff.

Way back in November of 2013, the first sale of my first book went to one of my Neighbors to the North. I was flattered, of course, and when I discovered that initial sale put me in the Top 100 of Amazon.ca’s Post-Apocalyptic category (#42, but who’s counting), I was ecstatic. Clearly, I was destined to become the Great White North’s equivalent of Stephen King and J.K. Rowling’s love child, right? Cha-ching! Let the Loonies roll on in!

As of yet, that hasn’t quite happened. I’ve recorded a grand total of one additional sale in Canada since then. Although both sales are much appreciated, I’d like to take this opportunity to make an impassioned plea to the wonderful denizens of America’s BFF to give my books a chance, in much the same way I’ve appealed to the fine residents of Germany and Australia in the recent past. Please allow me to present my case:

Exhibit A: I’ve never technically been to Canada, but I have seen it. And no, I’m not talking about the occasional Ottawa Senators game that pops up on my local feed of NBC Sports every once in a while. And no, I’m not talking about the VHS copy of Strange Brew that’s hidden in some box in some far recess of some far corner of my closet. I’ve actually stood (well, sat idling in a rented Chevy Cobalt, anyway) near the banks of Lake Champlain and gazed northward from Vermont into your beautiful nation. But I didn’t have a passport so I had to turn back. Still, though. I felt (and I think you did, too) a connection.

Exhibit B: My love life has been, without fail, a failure. But early in my high school career, I happened to move into a home located across the street from the sweetest, most beautiful young lady I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I was a shy, awkward kid in a new town (still am, in spirit), but she was kind enough to show me around my new school. We walked together to the bus stop every morning that year (my sophomore season, her senior), and she helped me bridge the cultural gap between California and Pennsylvania. We lost touch after she graduated, but I’ll never forget her. Her nationality? Canadian, of course.

Exhibit C: The name of this here blog. Literally about 14 people on the entire planet would ever get the reference tied to “Writes And Submission.” The query process part of it is pretty obvious, but when we peel back the layers of the onion, we find that it happens to rhyme with the title of a compilation album released by avant-weird titans of the 1980s Skinny Puppy entitled “Bites and Remission.” I happened to be struggling with a blog title and listening to old music when I came up with the name. Hopefully cEvin Key and Nivek Ogre don’t sue me for my thievery. Their nationality? Canadian, of course.

On a side note, I’d like to mention the fact that I never at any time used the word “Eh?” in this post.

I’m not saying it’s fate, Canada. But yeah. It’s fate.