Archive for October, 2015

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Much like last October, this October turned out to be less-than-impressive on the everything front. Were it not for the wonderful nation of Canada, I’d be seriously considering another line of way to waste two-to-five hours per day. Here are the pallid-hand-thrusting-unexpectedly-out-of-the-newly-covered-gravesite details:

October pretty much sucked, frankly. August and September (2015) ranked among my best months ever, revenue-wise, and I’d been hoping to carry my newfound respectability into America’s most recent fiscal year. Sadly, our seasonally-adjusted economic numbers sucked egregiously. In unison. Sorry, America (and me).

Thankfully, one of my neighbors to the north bailed me out, averting an economic catastrophe of epic proportions, one which could’ve potentially changed the face of North America forever…

Okay, maybe not so dramatic. But an intrepid reader in Canada (near the end of the month) sampled A World Gone Gray, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I hope he or she is currently enjoying it. I managed a sale of the aforementioned tome in America early last month, too, but it’s always nice to see my friends outside this particular patch of land (potentially) enjoying my stuff.

Trick? Or Tweet?

Posted: October 27, 2015 in Self-publishing
Tags: , , , ,

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Look. I’ve been doing the Twitter thing long enough to learn how to think outside the box in the most curated, SEO-friendly fashion possible. Every random Internet dude and hashtag-happy something-or-other tells me so. So it must be true, right?

Conventional Twitter Wisdom suggests I throw my spindly writerly arms up in frustration and offer Like Life Itself: Ten Short Stories, a collection of (shockingly) ten short stories for free for, oh, let’s say, the last five days of October simply because it’s a collection of dark tales and Halloween’s the latest thing plowing its way down the Hallmark Highway.

Personally, no.

Buy my ten-tiered tale-fest for $6.66, bitches! That’s right. It’ll cost you the Prince of Darkness-ly sum of Lucifer’s Number simply to gaze upon this work of bloody bloody-ness! Perchance your progeny shall not suffer the wrath of my…

Ha! Kidding! It’s free.

Seriously, though. The collection is a collection of dark tales. It’s mostly psychological horror, but there’re also an inexcusable amount of bodily fluids involved. In fact, a disembodied eye explodes on a barbeque grill at one point. For no reasonable reason. So deviant emptor.

Also, the first story is always free. True story.

P.S. Did I mention free? Like Life Itself is free between October 28th and November 1st, 2015. So get thee to an Amazon-ery and download it!

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Breaking News: I’m lazy. That’s my excuse for eschewing last month’s AAR, and I’m sticking to it. No legitimate court would convict me anyway, mainly because skipping a blog post is still perfectly legal in 47 of the 50 states. Anyhoo, to paraphrase the late, great Ernie Banks, let’s blog two [months’ worth of mostly useless information in one post]!

Strangely, August and September ended up in roughly the same place revenue-wise, but took completely different paths to their destinations. August started out with a mostly-ignored giveaway of The Transience of Youth, but plodded steadily forward from there, accumulating a respectable number of sales spread evenly throughout the month. September did its own thing — a couple of early sales followed by a huge spike in KOLL pages read, followed by crickets getting run over by tumbleweeds. All told, September beat August by about 20%. Sounds like great news on the surface, but those aforementioned cricket corpses impaled upon tumbleweed thorns are leaving me feeling a bit antsy for some reason…

On the social media front, I social-media-ed throughout both months. As per usual, I split my social media time evenly; 100% Twitter, 0% everything else. Does a consistent Twitter presence result in more sales? Does a bear speak Polish to the Pope in the woods? Nobody knows.

So, in conclusion, my last two months in the self-publishing fray have left me as confused as the preceding (almost[!]) two years have. I do the same stuff pretty much every month, then scratch my head while banging it against the wall and wondering what the hell the latest batch of information means. Here’s to next month and the wonders that await…