Rock-Bottom Reminders

Posted: April 17, 2014 in Self-publishing
Tags: , , , ,


T.S. Eliot held that April is the cruelest month. After waking up Tuesday morning (Tax Day and three weeks into Spring) and finding an inch of snow covering the green grass and the budding trees, I’m starting to agree with him. I know “reading clouds” with any accuracy is impossible; it’s just an attempt by the human mind to assign a known shape to the unknown that is Mother Nature. It gives us the false impression that we’re actually in control of something, anything. But still, one of the clouds I saw pass by that morning looked suspiciously like a hand with an extended middle finger. Thanks, Ms. Nature. Message received.

I mentioned in a recent post that I was using some of my ill-earned vacation time to conduct a social media experiment. At Smashwords, I generated a 25% off coupon for my debut novel, A World Gone Gray, then proceeded post-haste to Twitter to shout of savings from the digital mountaintop. My seven days of sporadic advertising (I kept the tweets limited to one per hour-ish, and only when an appropriate topic [and hashtag] was trending; I despise spam just as much as the next guy or gal) yielded a grand total of zero sales. I’d hoped for a couple more. On the plus side, ten readers downloaded the free sample, and I picked up about two dozen new Twitter followers, many of whom are actual human people. So it wasn’t a complete waste of everybody’s time.

On a somewhat-but-not-quite-related side note, my short story collection, Like Life Itself, is starting to creep its way up the best-seller list on Amazon. Over the past week I’ve noticed that the terminal red down-arrow that normally accompanies the tome on its southward slide has been replaced by a green up-arrow and a really, really small number. But it seems Kermit the Frog was right after all; it truly isn’t easy being green. Apparently, the bottomless pit that is the Amazon Author Ranking has a bottom. It’s around 1.2 million or so. Also, apparently, ebooks can bounce. I can now take comfort in the fact that Like Life Itself is the Baby Jessica of self-published books, waiting patiently for someone to rescue it from the bottom of the well.

On a more encouraging note, I just came up with an excellent idea for a novella—T.S. Eliot and Kermit D. Frog walk into the DMV. Practically writes itself, doesn’t it?






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s